Mother’s day is here; a day where we celebrate the fierce strength (though we too often doubt it’s there), the deepest love, the endless support, and undeniable force of a mom.

As moms despite being the chauffeur, we regularly take a back seat. We put our little loves first. Their needs, their wants, and what we’re left with are soggy cheerios and cold coffee. Each morning we put a smile on our face, pull on our big girl panties and do what we have to do to make sure that that perfect little bean that you made from scratch is happy, healthy and safe.

Motherhood isn’t always glamorous; it isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, rolling on the floor playing with our kids all day. It’s hard, there are obvious struggles, and silent ones too. There are things that have to be done each day, and lessons that have to be learned. There are days when you feel like the worst mother in the world and moments where you know you’re not. There are tears shed, tired eyes and deep breaths taken as you navigate the storm in the hopes of calmer seas.

Despite the challenges though, the inward screams, the milk stained clothes, the sleepless nights thanks to little feet digging into your rib cage. It’s still pretty freaking great. People always say the best things in life don’t come easy, and you know what? They’re right!

Sure if I were to list the cons of my day today: the 4 am start, the 3 breakfasts I made in an attempt to get my toddler to eat one, the spilling of my coffee, the meltdown in Homesense, the guilt of her cries as I leave her for her nap, the face plant into the pile of laundry I’ve been trying to fold for three days and so on and so on, people might question if it’s really worth it to which I say, without hesitation, YES!

While the cons—or more accurately the struggles—may seem like a longer list, the pros have more substance: the belly laughs when I change her diaper, the endless love and longing for hugs, the smiles, the adventure, the snuggles as we read our favorite stories, all the little things, the little moments, that melt my world.

Every year, my hubby asks what I want for mother’s day, and the answer is always the same. I want presence. While self care is so important and mother’s definitely do not have enough of it, for mother’s day I don’t want a day off—although ask me again when she’s older! I don’t need a world’s best mom coffee mug, I want a day where I can be fully present. A day where I don’t have to worry about chores, and everyday stresses.

I want a day to just be. A day where I can snuggle with my babe, read stories, go outside to enjoy it not to run errands. A day with no cooking, no cleaning, where I can just enjoy being my kid’s mom instead of a jack-of-all-trades.

Before I know it, my kid will be grown, not losing her mind over a hug, not wanting me so much it makes her scream. Before I know it, my kid will be moved out, with a family of her own, possibly celebrating her own mother’s day. Before I know it, the little girl I can hold in my wings, will be spreading hers and learning to fly.

So for mother’s day, I want presence not presents. Today, I want to be able to just be a mom and not a butcher, baker, or candlestick maker. Today, I just want to hold my kid tight and make memories.

…and then after that little love goes to bed, I want a long, hot bubble bath, a glass of wine, and quiet while my hubby deals with the chaos of a day well lived!